I believe the driving need of most men is t be respected. How any one man defines respect varies pretty widely. The dilemma for a woman is to determine what his definition is; after that, growing and maintaining the relationship gets progressively easier. Men can be as complex as women perceive women to be, but it often requires different excavation tools to get down to the deeper matters.
All of us learn most about the opposite gender from our own family -- and women (like men) hae to learn that all the men in their life may not follow the same patterns as their fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.
The principles of having a relationship with a man are simple -- give him respect -- figuring out how to do that in a hundred different situations, requires a lot of thought and effort.
Example 1
My wife's brother, is a psychiatrist today, but even in his youth (and he's three years younger than Linda), he proactively talked about almost everything he thought or felt. Linda and Charlie were the only two kids in their family. That in part, set up an expectation for Linda, that men were talkative about almost everything.
On the other hand, I'm one of five siblings -- squarely in the middle, with brothers 4 and 5 years older; sisters 3 and 12 years younger. I'm willing to talk about almost any topic; but, in contrast with Charlie, am less likely to initiate some topics.
When Linda and I first married, one of her frustrations was that her perception that I didn't want to talk about some topics -- topics, she perceived as "feelings and emotions." She has since learned, that with me, all she has to do is ask.
Example 2
Because Linda grew up with only a single brother, her bedroom was her retreat. She could spend hours in her bedroom, finding peace and tranquilty, any time she needed it. So, even to this day, Linda can spend almost any amount of time in our bedroom and be very content.
I, on the other hand, viewed my bedroom as a place to sleep, change clothes, and sometimes be punished. I shared a bedroom with at least one brother from my birth until I was 14. As a result, I spent very little time in my bedroom. When I was at home, I was in the "living" areas of the house, interacting with family (including fights and arguments) or watching TV (with which I grew up).
When we married, Linda wondered why I wouldn't come up to the bedroom to spend time with her; while I wondered why she was always cloistered in the bedroom and not down in the family room watching TV with me. For a time, it was a source of much stress in our relationship. We resolved it when we discovered our respective "family histories" and set aside other kinds of time, where we seem to talk incessantly about about almost every topic under the sun. For us, these times turned out to be dining out, driving around or talking on the phone during the long commutes to and from work in the DC area.
Additional comments
Linda often says that men are simple, but a woman has to get to know her guy individually. When I studied Mass Communications Theory, there were two theories I learned about that continue to seem relevant to me. First is the theory of large numbers, which in essence suggests that the larger the population you're studying the more accurately you can predict what the large group will do. For example, pollsters can pretty accurately predict the outcome of a presidential election; how many people will vote for which candidate. Second is the theory of individual differences, which suggests that you can never predict what one particular individual will do -- even if they are part of a predictable large group.
Conclusion
Thus, it's useful and informative to discuss and review what men are like, or what women are like, how each gender behaves, thinks, feels, etc. But the problem is using the generalizations as the basis for understanding any one individual. Some of what you know may apply and some may not apply -- but which part is which?
I'm sure I fit a hundred male stereotypes, but Linda will testify that I'm like no other man she knows.